“The Show Must Go On!” declared the defiant MFUJ manager G Mod as he was arrested at a local grocery store. He also shouted “I am the Resurrection!”, “I am Iron Man!” and “I am the Walrus! Goo goo g’joob.” We never said he was original.

Despite the recent downward spiral of the band (or perhaps because of it), long time band manager and record producer G Mod made a series of bold declarations in front of a frightened group of shoppers at a local grocery store after picking up a shopping cart full of red bull and other high octane groceries meant for a burnt out 80’s star. The other customers looked on in horror at the large, red faced man standing on the counter in a moldy old suit and dark sunglasses. Grabbing the microphone away from the timid cashier, G Mod began ranting about many things. He blamed the movie industry for the collapsing economy, stating that “No one needs to make 100 million dollar movies. Seriously, who needs all of that junk? Free your minds, you fools!”

When one of the other cashiers tried to call the authorities, G Mod tossed a can of red bull at them before continuing his rant. “They think they can just humiliate us by calling us MFU+ instead of MFUJ? Well, they’re wrong! I’ve been down and out. I was the ****ing singer for Super Mario and the Koopa-Troopas! I was a ****ing star! Sure no one remembers our music but I am the Mutha****ing Phoenix! Burn me all you like, I will rise again. Do you hear me, shoppers? All this turmoil is just an illusion! I have come back to open your eyes. Open your minds and I will plant the seeds of greatness there. Do not disappoint me!”

When he finally jumped down from the counter, he was restrained from behind by an off duty officer. As G Mod was dragged away he made one last statement. “Despite the downgrade and lack of public interest, we plan on releasing a second Webisode soon. I don’t care if no one wants anything to do with it. No one wanted me to do a solo album with me playing classical music using just a cowbell, but I did it anyway. I do what I want.”

The doors closed as he was dragged off to be processed. The crowd breathed a sigh of relief as they continued to buy their overpriced food and beverages and worry about more important things than the ravings of a megalomaniacal record producer.