For those who are keeping score at home, this is part 2 of the May Day Saga.
As you may know from past entries (and if you don't, shame on you), Tigerman finally got a normal 9-5 job working on television. Now who would be crazy enough to hire a six foot tiger creature who plays the bass? Tiger International Channel, a cable channel catering to Tigers living far from home, of course. Now this wouldn't an MFUJSF story arc without some dark twist hiding somewhere 9otherwise why bother , right?) We'll get to that soon, but first...
Tigerman had been working for Tiger International for a few months now. Everyday was pretty much the same. He'd claw his way out of bed at seven for his morning grooming ritual. Then he'd feast on a gazelle or whatever's in the fridge before lunging out the door at nine. When he finally arrived, he'd flirt with the female security guard before taking the world's slowest elevator upstairs.
The actual office where Tigerman had been working was a tightly knit community that had reluctantly allowed the bass player to join their ranks. He was assigned a cubicle and given menial assignments to take up his time. But being hungry for meaningful employment outside a profitless rock band. Besides being slightly invisible to the fine ladies in the office (or completely invisible; he is a tiger and those stripes offer a great camo index) and doing the work of various higher level employees, he seemed content with his new life outside of obscure rock and roll music.
His eyes would grow weary, his paws sore and his neck stiff and strained, but he still kept showing up anyway. He had the newfound confidence present in those who have been given employment an he wasn't about to throw it away over some irrelevant detail like exhaustion. It was at this point, one day, when he was logging the upteenth "Tiger Movie Studio Presents" promos tape he remembered Shadow's fourth and final guide for new employees.
1) Just because you're employed doesn't mean you're out of the woods just yet. In fact, you're out of the woods and into the jungle. Welcome to it.
Tigerman reflected on the wisdom of this line as he pondered how complex the office ecosystem was. The managers were the head of the food chain, always wandering the halls as a duo, walking the fine line between friendly and oppressive. Next came the lovely ladies who strutted around the office in high heels and sub-designer clothes (I'm not sure that means what you think it means) whose beauty was eclipsed only by their incessant conversations amongst themselves. Then came the mid level editors and other essential staff... the very bottom is reserved for the sla... I mean interns. They're at the bootom. there ain't nothing foither, I mean further.
2) Keep a low profile by working hard without showboating or rocking the boat (pretty much avoid boat metaphors) to avoid jealousy and scrutiny.
Yeah, Tigerman was pretty much doing a lot of work and keeping out of the spotlight, even as the company was now under new management. Tigerman had yet to see who the new boss was. Every time the new big cheese walked passed, Tigerman was busy reading timecodes or creating dissolves. But as the employees around the office began to slowly disappear one by one, Tigerman became increasingly more worried about who this mysterious new leader was. Tigerman's mentor at the company, a wise but sly jaguar, kept joking that the new boss was related to the MFUJ bassist but that seemed impossible.
3) Don't mess with the status quo. No one likes a trouble maker.
Looking outside of the little cubicle he had been given, Tigerman saw a bunch of the bigwigs gather in the conference room and he knew fro sure that the big kahuna would be in there. Using all the sneaky maneuvers he had learned from playing an obscene number of stealth games, he creeped (I believe the word you're looking for is 'crept' but whatever), crawled and tiger-rolled to the conference room door and pressed up against the wall. A few weeks earlier, he would have run into some colleagues along the way but they all seemed to have disappeared one by one and were never mentioned again. He drew a heavy breath and exhaled his antelope sandwich breath before pressing his ear to the door.
He heard a gravelly voice driving the meeting and some scattered protests from the various middle managers. Before he knew what to say, the meeting had ended and the door opened followed by a parade of disappointed middle-aged felines. Some noticed him standing against the wall so conspicuously but were too disappointed by the meeting to give a flying fig about the office idiot.
4) That man behind the curtain (or swivel chair)? Pay no attention to him.
Noticing that he hadn't seen the big boss leave, Tigerman entered the conference room and saw one swivel chair turned away from the door in the most ominous way possible. as he stepped further into the office, he hear the door, the person in the chair spoke in a familiar gruff tone like his voice had been shredded and then stitched back together with barbed wire.
"How are you enjoying your first real job? It's nice, ain't it? To be a part of the real world."
"I uh... I guess."
"You know, I expected a little more gratitude."
"Who are you?" asked the confuzzled tiger. Really? Confuzzled...oh, I get it. Fuzz. No, it's still not funny.
"Me? Oh, well. First you lose my sunglasses and now you've lost my name. I knew there was a reason that I never liked you.
"G Mod!" Tigerman screamed in horror as he ran to the door, only to see that it was locked and MFUJ drummer Shadow was blocking it. "E tu, Shadow?" he said with an equal mix of melodrama and betrayal.
"Sit down, pussycat," said the megalomaniacal record producer, "we have a lot to discuss."
Outside the office window, a huge stone tower was being constructed...
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