Hello, reader(s?). As you may well know, brick is facing his
demons right now and, although we're sure you'd be fascinated to read volumes
and volumes of his tortured complaints or just see what that dastardly
chameleon villain, G Mod, says next, we've got something much more interesting.
Wait for it.
Wait for iiiiiiiiit!
What is this? Psych?
C'mon, son!
Welll?
Well, what?
Well, what is so
interesting that you're ripping off USA network shows and their catchphrases?
Oh, right. It's an ORIGIN STORY!
That's it?
What? I'm excited. It's like on Burn Notice when they say "We're
putting you on notice, 'cuz you're about to
get burned."
No, they don't.
Yeah, they do.
What show have you
been watching?
I, uh...
Get on with the precious
origin story.
Ok, ok. We now present to you an origin story that has been
compiled from a variety of credible sources such as old school papers, a
defunct Friendster account and excerpts from an unfinished memoir by the
protagonist herself.
How did you acquire
that unfinished memoir?
Um, do you really wanna know?
Do I?
Better if you don't.
Okey-dokey.
Now where were we? Ah, yes. Amethyst's origin story. Before
today, little was known about the perky producer that has been inconsistently
nice to poor old Brick. Yes, he's still being tortured psychologically by G
Mod, now focus. We're talking about our girl, Amethyst. Well, she's not really
"our girl". That's a figure of speech you see. She is not an object
to be coveted but rather a three dimensional human being with hopes, fears,
strengths and weakness that make her who she is. She is not a means to an end,
but a fellow traveler on the F'd Up Journey that is life. Shall we continue?
I'm sorry. I was busy
ogling Amethyst...
What did I just tell you? She's a person with feelings and
thoughts, not some object to lust over.
Whatevs, dude. She's
hot. And that perfume of hers is intoxicating.
Why do I even bother with you? You just embarrass me in
public. Here I am about to reveal some back-story in order to set up a larger
arc, and you're just being an ass.
Ah, her ass....
*facepalm* Let's just ignore the italicized voice. According
to her unpublished autobiography...
You mean her diary.
Er, well...
Where'd you get the book?
It doesn't matter.
Mmm-hmmm. Sure.
Amethyst came from a small town in the middle of nowhere.
She grew up as the typical girl next door-type... Don't even start, Italicized
voice.
I didn't say
anything...*cough*Elisha Cuthbert*cough*
C'mon! We never saw that movie. Anyways, Amethyst's home
life was not exactly ideal. Then again, whose is? Her father was a tyrant, her
mother a flake. There was no mention of siblings in the book, but you know how
it is. They always turn up when the narrator gets lazy. She grew up with a sense
of dread when it came to the men in her life. She either pursued meaningless
flings or focused on advancing her career.
It's unclear what brought her to work for the same company
as Brick, but it seems to be the kind of place that attracts lost souls like
these two crazy kids. Having glanced at her contract, it doesn't look likely
that she's going anywhere soon. It's some intense legal mumbo jumbo. But she
still isn't in as bad a situation as Brick... Or is she?
Some receipts that we discovered allude to some massive debt
that may be too much for poor Amethyst to pay for, even with her fancy-schmancy
young producer's salary. What are these untold appetites of hers that have
landed our female protagonist into such a precarious situation? Who knows?
What we do know is that she has returned after a brief
hiatus and she may as well be wearing an albatross around her neck. Her eyes
are sullen and her spine is slouched as she checks the promos for next week's
show. It seems to be a problem of a personal nature, so a direct intervention
might be the last thing she needs.
Will Brick be able to outrun the devil long enough to lend
her a sympathetic shoulder or will he be too late? Does she even need his help
or will he just set her back 50 years?
Stay tuned... I'll be damned...
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