As Brick raised his drool-covered face from the soft memory
foam mouse pad on his work desk, he realized it was morning already. Hours had
gone by since his humiliating encounter with Amethyst and his subsequent... oh
guitar picks! Brick couldn't seem to remember what happened after that. As a
matter of fact, neither can we. Huh?
Seriously though...it feels like a major character, an
antagonist that has bothered Brick for years, has suddenly been stripped from
our memories. Yes, we are totally freaking out over this total mind****. Back to the story. Brick, having completely
lost 13 hours of his life with no recollection why, did what anyone normal
clueless video editor would do... he went to the restroom.
Now as fascinating as a trip to the water closet can be,
this little episode is all about what happened after Brick exited the can. Down
the hall, around the corner of the block of cubicles occupied by one of the
non-video-editing departments, Brick
saw his boss talking to a familiar looking businessman. As he got closer, the
sunglass aficionado with the slicked hairdo became clearer. Brick politely
greeted his boss, hoping to not attract attention to his wrinkled clothing. The
boss man immediately surrendered attention to the mysterious figure who was now
approaching our protagonist.
"Remember me?" asked the man with the crooked
Cheshire cat grin.
"Um," said Brick, suddenly reduced to the vulnerable
state of childhood, "I don't remember your name but your face is very
familiar to me.
Brick's boss chuckled as the young video editor made a total
fool of himself. The smiling man simply replied:
"My name is G Mod And I'm
the one who got you this job in the first place."
"Yes," Brick said, his face mortified beyond
believability, "G Mod. That is a very familiar name... I apologize. I'm
very grateful for this opportunity..."
"I'm sure you are. Run along now, Brick."
The humiliated former leader of the band MFUJ walked into
the next room while the bigwigs talked.
"He seems to not remember you, G Mod," said the giant
boss man.
"Hmmm... it seems like everything is as it should
be."
Unaware of the sinister conversation going on the other
side, Brick returned to his desk to find an irate Eugene Pterodactyl standing
there, fuming like a mofo.
"Where have you been?"
"Mr. Pterodactyl? I...uh..."
"Uh is not an answer."
"I was in the restroom."
"I see," said the flaming red haired host who was
once voted most despicable host of the year by every
publication known to man,
"So you were in the restroom for the last 72 hours?"
"Well, no, that would be insane."
"Oh, so then you just purposefully didn't make the
precious promo for my show?"
"Well, I was working..."
"What the hell do they pay you for, you insignificant
insect's dropping?" asked the irate host in a baritone squeal.
"My great taste in music?"
"You ridiculous waste of air. If it weren't for the
fact that no one wants to work in the promo department besides you and your
loser ilk, I'd smash your skull against the pavement, you stone ugly bastard!"
"Sir, I'm not sure..."
"Yes, exactly. You're not sure of anything. What the
hell kind of life are you leading? Are you just drifting by, a barnacle
attached to me?"
Brick, already tired of this conversation, mumbles, "I
don't know, you tell me."
"Of all the insolent... you maggot!"
Pterodactyl grasped Brick with his meaty hooks and slammed him
against the wall.
"Get your act together or you'll be nothing but a stain
on my fist."
"Yes, sir."
Pterodactyl, not satisfied, leans in with a snarl, "And
stay away from Amethyst, you junkless amateur. She's MINE!"
"Amethyst?" brick asked with naive ignorance.
"Yes, you moron," continued the mad TV
personality, "When will you realize how little value you have in this
world. Do you think you even matter? Don't confuse my speaking with you right
now to my acknowledgement of you meaning anything to me or this station. You
are the most useless piece of garbage I've ever laid eyes on. Do you think
Amethyst likes you? She's nice to everyone in that coquettish way of hers. You
don't know anything about where she comes from or who she really is. She
wouldn't care about you even if you paid her a million dollars to. Stop wasting
your time thinking about her."
Pterodactyl released Brick and stormed off, as characters
tend to do when they're done for the day.
Brick, stunned from the day's events, wondered how he could
ever get any work done.
No comments:
Post a Comment