Whatever Happened to the Brick Man Part 4: A Farewell to Guitars or Dr. Strange Brick or How He Learned to stop worrying and embrace the boring dialogue and depressing ending... Wow. Referencing Hemingway and Kubrick...and Deschanel? I guess someone could have been Brick's girl.

As you remember (or don't, hehe), Brick's recollections of his past dealings with G Mod had been wiped completely clean  somehow. We're not sure exactly how. Some said that Brick finally managed to repress the negative memories from his past (those seem to pile up quickly, don't they?). Others said that the massive soul destroying tower had begun to melt his mind. And still some others claimed that his high dairy intake had finally come back to haunt him. Regardless, we felt that it was time to relate to a lost tale about Brick before he gets dragged down by the storm like an Orwellian dog in a Roger Waters-penned song. We better hurry since no David Gilmour guitar solos could possibly save a charade like Brick, ha ha.

It was back in the summer of '10. Brick was a young guitarist. Not a good guitarist. A guitarist nonetheless. He was down on his luck but the sun still shone in the sky every day. It still did in those days.

One day his friend Tigerman brought him along to help impress a woman he liked. It was at an audition for a play. the building was nothing special. No need for lengthy exposition. We'll let Brick tell the story, starting from the former MFUJSF HQ. How he remembers, we can't tell you (Plot hole!)

"You will help me with the lady, won't you, Brick?"

"All right. Let me clean up first."

"Yes, you should wash away that fake stubble of yours."

"All right!"

I washed my face and combed my hair.

"Ready?"

We left the HQ and headed for the audition. We went to the nearby town and the sun was hanging high and it was nice. The theater house was a villa built before the grunge era. Miss Ruby was in the Garden. Another actress was with her. We saw their tank-tops through the trees and walked towards them. Tigerman saluted them. I just stood there and acted confused.

"Hey there," Miss Ruby said. "You're not an actor, are you?"

 "Oh no. I'm in a band."

Tigerman was flirting with the other actress. She was laughing at him.

"What an odd thing― to be in a band."

"Well, it's not all I do. I wrote a book."

"It's very odd though. Why be in a band? They don't make money at all."

"I don't know," I said. "There isn't an easy answer for everything."

"Oh isn't there? I was always instructed to think that it was 'my way or the highway.'"

"That's disturbing."

"Do we have to go on and talk like this?"

"No," I said.    

"That's a relief, isn't it?"

She was beautiful. Her light-brown hair glistened in the midday sun. Her slender frame felt good pressed next to mine, the softness of her bosom brushed up against my shoulder by a happy accident.

"Miss Ruby..." I began to say as I held her hand in mine.

"Yes, Brick?"

"I love you."

She smiled.

"You're a nice boy, but don't play this awful game with me."

"What game?"

"Don't be lame."

"I'm not, on purpose."

Tigerman was making some weird hand gestures at the other actress. She couldn't understand him.  

Miss Ruby was perfection personified. She sat in my lap, her legs crossed. Her arm was cradling my shoulder.

"I don't know, Brick. I've always been afraid of stone towers."

"Well, I don't see any near here. So I think you'll be fine."

"I guess."

"I love you."

"I wish you didn't have to return to your band."

"My record producer will kill me if I stay out too long."

"I didn't get the part anyway. I want to be with you."

"I'll love you no matter what, Miss Ruby."

"I like it."

"Are you really afraid of stone towers?"

"Not when I'm with you."

"Why are you afraid of them?"

"I don't know."

"Tell me."

"Don't make me."

"Please?"

"Alright. I'm afraid of stone towers because I see you dying because of one."

"Oh."

"But I'm an actress and crazy, so it's all nonsense."

"You're not crazy."

"You're right, I'm not...  I guess that's kind of foreboding."

Tigerman was ultimately rejected by his potential first ex-wife. Miss Ruby kissed me with all the passion and desperation of a star-crossed lover.

I didn't want to leave her but Tigerman reminded me of the wrath that G Mod might inflict if we missed the recording session.

"Oh Brick?" asked Tigerman as we headed back to MFUJSF HQ.

"Yeah, Tigerman?"

"You do know that Miss Ruby has a boyfriend, right?"