The semi-fictional chronicle of the greatest (or worst) band of our time. By our time I mean now. By now I mean the present. By the present I mean our time. You figure it out.
Perhaps it was an attempt to end a longstanding malaise or perhaps it was just an exercise in rapid filmmaking. It doesn't matter. The crew at MFUJSF have decided to continue the Webisode series with a fourth entry. Is it a prequel like we may have suggested it might be? No, sir. Excuse me, madam. Is it a clever allegory for the unachievable nature of the American Dream? No, or maybe...no, probably not. Is it like some weird dream? Perhaps, but without the unexpected nudity and cryptic imagery and dialogue.
In fact, no one knows why we even did a fourth entry. It's not like the first three were particularly lauded or successful. Could it be that, like Shadow in the episode, we were trying to find meaning in a thankless and self-destructive world only to find that, at that the end of the day, we all just fade away into the abyss from which we cannot escape? Perhaps that's too deep a description for what is essentially a disjointed farce with a bit of melodrama stuck in there for some sort of storytelling purposes.
Whenever a series starts to expand beyond the comfy confines of a trilogy, you have to wonder if they still have quality stories to tell? Did Rocky need to get political by fighting a gargantuan Swede posing as a Soviet brute? Did Indiana Jones really need to add Shia LaBeouf to the cast and fight the Soviets (Really? Again with the Soviets?) Did John McClane really need to pair up with the Mac guy to fight a bunch of dangerous nerds? Probably not.
So then why, why did we make this 4th episode and have it star the only band member to not appear on camera since 2009?
We just felt like it.
'Nuff said. Watch the video. WATCH IT!
Enjoy.
If you think we get tired of coming up with songs to end these blogs with, you've got another thing coming!
Since the last time we saw of our band of misguided musicians in exile, the situation has changed. After a long drought of new music, the band got to work recording their solo albums. G Mod is temporarily out of the picture due to his growing paranoia of persecution by an anthropomorphic bear wearing a Che Guevarra T-shirt (see picture here.... NO PICTURE ABVAILABLE? What? I could have sworn we had an image on flickr or photobucket. You generally have to have an account with one of those sites in order to have photos there, genius. Well, why don't we? It's not in the budget. But aren't those sites free? We can't afford free. Dang...)
Brick, in his rejuvenated state (short hair, not to be confused with the whiny webisode version with long hair) has managed to record an original song/lead single for his solo band, The Falcons, 99 (too many commas?)... No that last part is not part of the song. He also recorded several covers, including Masters of War, Meet Me in the Bottom and Tiger Man (featuring Tigerman on vocals).
Not to be outdone, Slate, in a moment of total brilliance (which is rare for him), contacted his old singer songwriter friend, the lovely and talented Eyeway (link...UNAVAILABLE? What the hell? Oh yeah, research is also too expensive for us. We couldn't find a link? We couldn't find a link. Oh fudge! Language! Oh, sorry.) With her awesome singing and Slate's average musicianship and mediocre production skills, they released the first single of his solo album, a cover of Sisters of Mercy's Dominion / Mother Russia, as Slate & the Revolution:
Of course everything was all well and good at first. Aside from the minor mixing problems and totally inept placement of drum samples, the cover was received well by those who heard it. All but one group. Out of the darkest void of copyright protection hell came a swarm of Evil Music Insects (EMI), hell-bent on quashing Slate and Eyeway's tour de force performance (Slate's words, not ours) and, ironically, claiming dominion over the song, even though everything was sung and performed from scratch by Slate and Eyeway. Could it be that Slate and Eyeway did such a good job in covering the song that the Evil Music Insects (EMI) mistook the song for the original? Or could it be that, in a moment of true stupidity (something all too common for the MGUJ singer), Slate used the original song to help him organize his cover version and, despite his best efforts to mute any sign of the original song, somehow the Evil Music Insects could sense the heart of the original song beating within this newer version?
The world may never know.
Stay tuned for further updates on MFUJ's newest faux nemesis as well as an unlikely turn of events for the band of misfits known as MFUJ. Lets' just say, they might not have to be MFU+ any longer. (Will Shadow ever appear on camera outside of stock footage from old music videos?)
And now the Sex Pistols with their ode to Evil Music Insects, EMI
Well, just chalk this one up as miscommunication at its funniest. Embattled manager of MFUJ and former member of the 1%, G Mod, had a rough day recently. After getting all of his paperwork done early in order to relax with a jar of macadamias and whatever was on the tube, something went horribly askew.
The band's leather lunged singer, Slate, came into the house and locked the door, thoroughly out of breath. Brick, the normally detached guitarist and founding member of the band, was the first to notice the singer's nervous countenance.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"We're surrounded!" he yelped with an exasperated voice.
"What?!" screamed the perturbed record producer/manager as he stood up, spilling all of the half eaten macadamias from his shirt.
"No...it can't be! This was a secure location. Oh Judas Priest! Say it ain't so. SAY IT AIN'T SO!"
G Mod proceeded to clutch his chest as he fell to the floor. Brick ran to his side, reluctantly, and immediately began to put his limited medical knowledge to work. Whether or not he actually helped or in fact worsened the blow of the chest pains is still up to debate.
"How did the Occupy Protesters find us?" Brick asked Slate.
"Occupy whatnow?" replied a confused Slate. "There's a family of deer out there! Grazing the grass and stuff."
"What?" G Mod asked, still clutching his chest.
"Deer! There's like six of them."
"You mean to say...that you barged in here, out of breath, shouted that we were surrounded...and YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT A BUNCH OF ****ING DEER?!?"
"Um, well yeah..." replied the now frightened Slate.
"One of these days...he's gonna be the death of me..." lamented the weakened G Mod, lying in a pile of cracked macadamias and broken dreams.
Despite technical difficulties caused by a burnt out computer, the transition to new video-making hardware/software and an angry mob led by an ursine rebel-rouser sporting a Che Guevarra t-shirt, MFUJSF would proudly like to present our third webisode. Well, perhaps proudly is too strong a word. We don't want to build up to much hype for a single episode.
What can we say? Well...the episode was filmed around Thanksgiving time but is only now being released. Yeah, that wasn't exactly scintillating behind-the-scenes commentary. I apologize. Also, despite previous posts saying otherwise, neither Shadow nor Tigerman appear in episode 3. Sorry for the disappointing news. We did record an epic Bass and drum jam with the two of them doing an epic cover of inna gadda-da vida. Unfortunately, the footage was snatched out of the camera by a particularly aggressive protester and used as a jump rope. As of the writing of this blog, both Tigerman and Shadow have refused to play the song again so the performance will be lost forever.
Alas...
What do you need to know in order to watch this video? Hmmm. Let's see...
- Following financial difficulties (Downgrade from MFUJ to MFU+) and the appearance of an irate group of protesters who detest the extravagance of individuals like G Mod, the band was forced to flee their precious HQ and seek refuge in a distant hideaway.
-Shadow was left behind to take care of the HQ while the rest of the abnd went with G Mod. Though his story was not explored in this episode, perhaps a flashback sequence episode will reveal what Shadow is up to.
- Tigerman, who travelled with Brick, Slate and G Mod has not been seen in days. Where could he be? Future episode? Maybe.
- Brick is pretty mad at G Mod for soooo many reasons.
- Slate is pretty happy. Remember, whereas Brick accumulates angst into an ever growing wall, Slate wipes all his feelings clean all the time.
-Despite his gruff public persona, G Mod's armor is imploding from within as his past mistakes are slowly coming back to haunt him. More on this in future episodes.
And now....the feature presentation.
And to thank you for watching, here is Band on the Run!
Well, this is it. Honestly, we didn't think we'd make it to the end of the year. This blog sort of started as a joke. Really, genius? Sarcastic, italicized voice! Hey, i missed you dude! Really? Yeah man. How's it been? Oh, well. Ok I guess. My sciatica acts up once in a while but no it's no big deal. How are the kids? Well, you know the older one is always bullying the other one and the girl is headed for the ivy leagues. Wow. That's fantastic. Yeah, I guess. Wait, weren't you in the middle of something? Huh? Yeah, you know, the whole we-can't-believe-we're-still-around-writing-this-blog speech. Ohhh.... that. Well? What? Aren't you going to continue? Yeah, sure. Thanks, sarcastic, italicized voice! Whatever, you can go **** yourself. You're the best.
Now where were we... ah yes. We didn't even think this blog would last past April 2011...but somehow it did and you all helped us make that happen. It's your fault. What did I tell you about blaming our readers? Not to do it? Yes. Whatever. *sigh* This blog entry seems to be a man at war against himself. How appropriate since MFUJ is essentially a story about an artist at war with himself. The Id versus the super ego, earthly desires versus one's conscience, art versus commerce, denim and leather versus spandex and hairspray... it's all there., we think. It's a much deeper more interesting story than we cna convey with our words here. But if we can't convey that the story is good by writing it, does that mean the story has been awful this whole time?
Let's go down memory lane as we celebrate blog # 55:
1) Our first entry started off by insulting the audience (hmm sounds familiar), then reintroduced Brick as a blog hero. we then had an awkward passage comparing our blog to achieving multiple orgasms, or something like that. Hmm? were we not supposed to say orgasms? Was that too edgy? Too late now.
2) Our next blog talked about endings, beginnings and had some fake movie trailer in it. I also mentioned my novel (which I'm currently editing) but no one cared so we only mentioned it a few more times later.
3) For our third entry we did a short story based on true-ish events about the soul draining nature of working as a salesman. it had something to do with pyramid schemes, Radiohead and the Soft Parade.
4) This was a hypocritical jab at the NY Times for having a typo on there website. See what I did their? Haha. We crack ourselves up.
5) A generic Shadow haiku, back when he still did those. Oh and Metallica Live in Moscow '91. \m/
6) Tigerman's first "To My Future First Wife". Who knew it would have three sequels? Maybe we did.
7) A story entry that had the band members begin there job hunt by working on their resumes. Hilarity and hijinks ensued.
8) Tigerman's Resume. Is anybody hiring? He really needs a job. Just take a look at his skill set... never mind. Just give him the job!
9) A Placeholder blog that had a conversation between Brick and Slate. Bonus Points for Personal Jesus being used as the end of blog song. Last blog of March, our first month blogging as MFUJSF.
10) Part two of the Long and winding road to adulthood... I wonder why we stopped that subplot? More advice on finding a job by someone who has never had one and building tensions between the band members that would lead up to the midseason finale.
11) Another short story, based on a dream. it stank. We made up for it with Bowie's (arguably best) song, Moonage Daydream.
12) Slate attempt at writing an op-ed that took on mandatory school lunches. Welcome to my nightmare indeed.
13) Shadow wrote a haiku about a world leader who stole a pen while being filmed for television. Jane's Addiction performed an appropriately titled song. Good Times.
14) MFUJ still made music? Apparently they did. I should have known... Also something about a stolen Poland Spring (product placement).
15) A plot based entry between Brick and Shadow about the guitarist's growing dissatisfaction/depression. Cue Soundgarden.
16) Brick's past is revealed. or re-revealed, depending on how much you knew. Awesome 70's Scorpions song was featured
17) The Second "To My Future First Wife". Two more of these. Sweet song.
18) Slate's flashback episode. More Soundgarden? Why not?
19) MFUJ record without instruments and Leadbelly kicked ass.
20) The first of a two-parter leading up to the reintroduction of G Mod, series Villain/Manager. Classical music used to maximize pretentiousness.
22) The Midseason finale: Enter G Mod. Questions were answered. Answers were questioned. We took a month off to finish the novel.
23) We return with a whimper and a joke about cheesy songs. We begged for ratings and our readership swelled like a...cigar, which is just a cigar.
24) A melodramatic entry about Brick being depressed about his book. Awesome Killing Joke song.
25) The Third "To My Future First Wife". We were just as surprised as you that he chose a Dio0-era Sabbath song.
26) Packagegate. A joke about a congressman who got in trouble for posting pictures of his, amazon delivery... And the thinly veiled metaphors of KISS.
27) A lengthy entry about g Mod changing things up and stirring up trouble. The future of the band is in jeopardy as Brick contemplates leaving.Faith No More save the day.
28) Making Music is easy as the band releases un released songs. One of our most popular entries.
29) A very Slate entry. Yeah, it was all about Young Lust. The last entry for June.
30) Plot driven episode about how the cover of Hey Hey, My My was recorded. brick was all :( and Slate was all :P. We were all o_0 when Brick had a heart attack in the shower. Take that, Showtime!
31) A journey through Brick's melancholy prison of the mind. Would he survive? Well, keep reading. see that's drama.
32) We apologized for the dark turn of events but didn't change the plot. And there was an epic Neil Young Jam.
33) MFUJ turns 4 years old and no one cared. Surprise, surprise.
34) We announced our plans to return to the internet video game. Not a game, just a video. A webisode. "Don't think about all those things you feel, just be glad to be here". Wish we could have followed that advice, FC Kahuna. Cute lady singer, btw. Our last July entry. Not a particularly productive month or moth.
35) The Webisode debuts and continues to gain views to this day. The Boys are back, indeed.
36) A letter from G Mod about MUJ being downgraded to MFU+. A smart political joke that fell on deaf eyes. Blind ears. Whatever.
37) More about Brick's depression and a depressing Smiths song (redundant?) T_T
38) Shadow's history is taken out of the shadows. Ughh... Play some Bonzo already.
39) G Mod gets arrested at a supermarket. The band is defiant in it's desire to release a second webisode. By band, we mean G Mod.
40) Our first of two "Serious" blog entries. We tried to write about depression and creativity. it ended up being trite. Oh well. Good John Lennon Song.
41) A light hearted short story about brick and a lady-thief. Only three people read it. Take it away, Chicago.
42) Brick finally confronts the source of his emo-ness and wakes up a rejuvenated badass. Would it last though?
43) Brick goes all super saiyan in his newfound confidence. No more DBZ references, I'm begging you! But his power level was over 9000! *Facepalm*
44) Our longest original short story to date (a Twilight Zone tribute) about a scary ice cream truck? Or was it all about a fear of success? Who knows?
45) State of the blog report. It was strong. Ironically no one read it.
46) We were serious about that second webisode. It just took a long time to get serious and film it. Oh, and I ain't no ******* son of a *****!
47) Our second serious entry tried to be sincere about our memories of 9/11. It wasn't a good entry.
48) The only way we could follow up such a sad entry was with our most ridiculous recurring entry, the fourth "To My Future First Wife". It was surprisingly popular.
49) An episode that summarized the growing power struggles within the band now that Brick had regained his mojo. Placeholder.
50) What was supposed to be the big season finale and premiere was hijacked by Brick when he released a cover medley by himself and stole his own band's thunder. Although it's questionable that he stole their thunder since no one read this entry.
51) Brick taunts G Mod and Slate as tensions grow and no second webisode has aired yet. There was trouble in the air but no one knew what was going to happen. Would the band implode or would someone else ruin it?
52) Our most popular entry thus far. The premiere of the epic second webisode.
53) Our second most popular entry. The times they were a changing as Brick released a song about Occupy Wall Street and the band's HQ became occupied by a group of protesters lead by a bear in a Che Guevara t shirt. This was effectively a season finale even though we've released a few entries after this.
54) Our Christmas entry. We did a bob Dylan cover song. Huh? We missed an entry by Shadow about the third webisode? Oh. Well whatever. We're up to the present already, who cares.
55) New Year's Eve Entry. We do an awkward argument at the beginning before trying to justify our blog as art until inevtiably doing an netry-by-entry commentary track. Hey wait a minute... This was this last entry.
Well thanks for indulging us. We now want to share our end of the year cover song(s). Last year we covered "I Woke Up in Love this Morning" by the Partridge family (another avian based band). This year we covered Tiger Man by Elvis (where has this song been all our lives?) and Meet Me in the Bottom by Howlin' Wolf.
Happy New Year everybody! We'll see you in 2012 with the third MFUJSF webisode, an epic duet with an awesome female singer/songwriter and the coming apocalypse (I'm kidding, I think).
Really optimistic, huh? Peace and love to you all.
Happy Holidays from your favorite/least favorite band of all time. While you all celebrate with your loved ones, remember one thing: MFUJ lives! Well, right now only Brick is publishing music with his solo band, the Falcons.
Enjoy his attempt at covering Dylan (Bob, to be specific). Try not to laugh too loudly.
Enjoyed it? You didn't? oh well. How about we leave the music to the pros. Take it away, Rainbow! No Dio? Fine... Whatever.
Hey folks. This is Shadow. You may know me as the drummer for the seminal progressive grunge punk metal blues band , Mike's F'd Up Journey. Or you may be familiar with one of my books, such as WTF?: Shadow's Guide to Internet Speak, Memes and Other Things Your Grandpa Doesn't Know About (Unless He Does). I want to explain something to you guys.
As you may well know, a group of protesters, led by a charismatic bear in a Che Guevara t-shirt have Occupied the space outside of the MFUJ office. That forced G Mod, Slate, Brick and Tigerman to go into exile in the mountains. I remained behind to keep our stuff safe. I'm not going to write about those guys here, though.
We had a third webisode filmed and ready to be edited and uploaded to a youtube near you. The problem was that after I received the footage from the other band members, our computer crashed and we were forced to get a new one. Unfortunately the camera we have been using has not been able to function properly because apparently Windows 7 is funny that way. Who knows when we will be able to show you the next webisode.
Well, that was about it. A short rant. I'm not going to waste my time by being vitriolic.
Watch this video and go away. I have a cover song to work on.
