G Mod paused, took out a stick of chewing gum from the desk he was sitting in at Tiger International's HQ in *insert city name here*. He was staring down the six foot tall tiger standing across from him. For years, that tiger was someone reluctantly had to accept as a member of the band because, let's face it, in most cases the bassist was expendable. If there was anything G Mod enjoyed more than robbing lead guitarist, Brick, of his future, it was tormenting the bipedal Siberian tiger.
"So you really thought that life had finally started going your way?" G Mod asked with maximum acerbicity.
"I was starting to..."
"It was a convenient lie to embrace, wasn't it?"
"That people would accept me?"
"And with such open arms. Did it never occur to you that it might all be too good to be true?"
And yes, it did seem too good to be true. That an unaccomplished musician would be given a job interview out of the blue, that always seemed odd to Tigerman, even if he just wanted to blissfully go along for the ride without looking beneath the surface.
"I was hoping..."
"Hoping," the corrupt producer repeated with a churlish grin, "if hopes affected the worl, well, uh, it would be a lot different than the sinkhole it is now."
"You mean...."
"Yes, all the lovely women who seem to flirt with you one minute and then find you odd the next minute, the mentor of yours who is simultaneously proud of and frustrated with you and all that work that you allegedly d everyday... all of t was just a sham."
"But why go through all the trouble? This all seems so elaborate."
"Does it now? I certainly was simple during the planning stages. you know I had a PowerPoint presentation all set up but ol' banana brain over there couldn't plug the l' PC o the projector properly and we've already fired the last competent employee this company had in order to boost my yearly bonus."
"But how? How do you have this much influence in this company?"
"I own it. Won it in a high stakes game of Chutes and Ladders. I bet MFUJ. Good thing the schmuck doesn't listen to rock music or he would have realized the band was broke and awful."
"I still can't believe the last few months were all fake..."
"100% fictional like pro wrestling, justice and the female o..."
"Wrestling is fake?"
"Don't tell me you actually thought that a bunch of misfits got together and decided to settle their petty disagreements like some elaborate Greco-roman soap-opera for dudes?"
"Well, I never watched it, I just thought..."
"Well, you haven't been thinking well this whole time, have you? You actually believed that you were actually a tiger."
"What?!" Tigerman exclaimed with primal betrayal in his voice.
"Things are about to get really complicated, really fast, tigerboy. You better watch as I show you the truth."
And with one gesture G Mod stripped Tigerman of his feline visage and the truth dawned on Tigerman from out of nowhere...
