Shhhh! It’s time for the State of the Blog Report and one lucky MFUJSF fan will be asked to leave in a cheap attempt to boost ratings. We’re obviously out of ideas and are stalling until the next story centered blog entry. Oh they say that it's over… Look Out!

We now bring you live to the Mike’s F’d Up Journey SF offices in downtown *mumblemumblemumble*. The podium is still empty. Let’s see who we have approaching the makeshift stage. Ah yes, the perpetually egomaniacal manager, G Mod, followed by the recklessly hedonistic lead singer, Slate. No sign of the other three members: intellectual drummer Shadow, pathetically lonely bass player Tigerman, lead guitarist, chief song writer and band leader Brick.

G Mod is testing the mic by coughing obnoxiously into it. Let’s listen to what he has to say.

Is this damn thing turned on? Hello? It is. Oh, ok.

I am G Mod. For those of you who don’t know who I am and are too lazy to read the narration at the top of the page, I am the manager of the band Mike’s F’d Up Journey as well as the last surviving member of the 80’s band Super Mario and the Koopa Troopas.

It has come time for us to address you, the internetz, about the state of our little blog which has replaced music as our number one export to your mind. Why have we chosen this particular blog entry, lucky number forty four to do this and not some nice round number like 50 or 100? Well, that’s a fair question but for legal reasons we’re not allowed to disclose the fact that *content redacted* …So I hope you’ll understand after that lengthy explanation I just gave you.

The state of the blog, I am proud to admit, is comme ci comme ça. Didn’t expect me to know French, did ya? Well, neither did I. It’s almost as if someone were putting words in my mouth. Let me get down to the statistics segment of this speech. I know how much you nerds like those things.

-          As of this moment, the blog has had over 385 page views (and only 300 of those were from Tigerman).  

-          Our precious blog has been read by people on 5 different continents. Countries include: USA, Germany, Denmark, Austria, Russia, India, Australia, Bulgaria, Egypt, Netherlands and Taiwan. Where’s the love South America and Antarctica?

-          Most of our readers prefer Internet Explorer with Chrome, Firefox and Safari being the runners up. Tough luck, Opera & GranParadiso.

-          Almost 80% of you use Windows while only 15% use Mac and a paltry 3% use Linux. Them’s the breaks, Linux.

-          We’d like to give a shout out to Almost Famous Tori (http://www.almostfamoustori.blogspot.com/)for being our #1 source of referrals. You’re awesome. I hope you start writing blogs again.

-          The most viewed blog entry was “Making music is easy! Vocals + Guitar + Bass + Drums + Samples + Megalomaniacal Producer = Win? Next thing you know we’ll end with an Opeth song. Oh wait, will we? That’d be awesome.” I guess you really love your Opeth mixed with megalomaniacal producers. Actually, the majority of the most viewed blog entries feature yours truly. Thanks for all the love, fools.

Well, that’s about all I wanted to talk about right now. See you later, posers.

G Mod drops the microphone and walks off stage. Slate, who was busy flirting with one of the female reporters runs after G Mod, like the faithful dog that he is. We now return you to your previously scheduled Sabbath. Black Sabbath that is, featuring the late great Ronnie James Dio.

You thought we forgot about the whole audience participation/ ratings stunt, didn't you? Well, honestly, we did. Don't worry. We'll figure out some spectactular stunt and write it. You'll read it and laugh and cry the way you do with any piece of literature that's either brilliant or just plain terrible. See you next time.