To My Future Second Wife Part 2: Once upon a time, I could have loved you. Once, Once...

And now resident romantic, Tigerman, addresses his second bride-to-be, whoever she might be. Yes, we haven't hung ourselves yet.

Dear love of mine that seems so far away,

In case you still don't know who I am, I used to play bass guitar in a band called MFUJ, I currently work at a large television network (which I recently found out was just a front for a megalomaniacal record producer with a pocketful of deus ex machina, whatever that is) and I'm also your future husband, although I've been having my doubts.

Sure, there's the whole threat of imminent danger that I'm facing from G Mod and that mysterious tower being built. I'm not sure if that plotline will ever be resolved in a meaningful, non-convoluted mind****, but perhaps everyone's mind needs to be ****ed every now and again. My apologies.

I'm starting to lose hope that we will ever meet. Maybe a 6 foot tall tiger creature had no right to expect to find love not just once but twice. Perhaps it was hubris that has led me to this point. I was so blinded by my expectations for the future that I couldn't see that my present was being pulled away from beneath me. Isn't that just like life or fiction. You get swept up in the little everyday things that you miss the slowburn simmering in the background until you're on fire.

What does this have to do with us? Well, Everything seems so wrong. I haven't even met my first wife and already I have an evil plot looming over me with the possibility of ending my feline existence with a few typed paragraphs.

Is that all it takes to wipe away feelings and emotions and thoughts and ideas...?

Woman of unknown origin, I just want you to know that I would have loved you like the ocean loves the earth. If all I am is but a one-note joke that has gotten twisted up in some massive conspiracy that will most likely end in disappointment (Matrix Revolutions-style), then so be it. I've worked hard to get this far and I'm not about to give up now. And If you're not willing to give up either, then, maybe, you really are my future second wife. The one with whom I finally get it right with.

Love,

Tigerman

Your future husband?

Tigerman is a self-taught bass player as well as a six foot tall anthropomorphic tiger creature. He used to spend all of the time he wasn’t playing music talking about his future wives. Now, he spends every second trapped in a convoluted story arc waiting for release of some kind. No, not that kind of release. Perv.