You can be frightened. You can be, it's OK. MFUJ is downgraded to MFU+ and rock fans’ interest in the band has been plummeting every day since the announcement was made. Does that mean rock fans were interested in the band in the first place?

The following is a letter from MFUJ Manager, G Mod.

Dear ungrateful, miserable and generally worthless miscreants who call themselves music fans,

It is with a heavy heart that I report to you the latest victims of having their reputation besmirched by a large credit rating agency: us. Our band recently had its rating slashed down after we failed to meet our August second deadline of releasing a song that people actually wanted to listen to. There were some internal struggles between myself and the untalented cattle that you call the members of MFUJ. The band wanted to raise the ceiling for how long we could go without a hit single, hoping to at least delay the inevitable moment when we’d have to accept the fact that if we have not produced any good music after all this time then we probably never will.

I, in my infinite wisdom, chose to impose the August second deadline because I felt it would motivate the band to work harder and thus increase the chance that I could make a tidy profit without having to sacrifice energy or effort on my part. Ultimately we came to a last minute decision and decided to give us a bit more time to turn this band into a money making machine. Unfortunately, before we even got the chance to see if we were even remotely capable of producing music that people would flock to rather than flee from, disaster struck. We were downgraded from MFUJ to MFU+

Why did we get targeted? I've always said that MFUJ was too big to fail. Perhaps that was a mistake. Those words put us on the radar of the greedy credit-rating agencies. Our poor little apocalyptic grunge blues metal folk band has had its previously sterling reputation of mediocrity tainted by official shame. What does the downgrade mean for the band? It’s difficult to say. However experts say the band will plunge into a huge creative slump, a recession of artistic achievement much like the one in late 2008, but this would be far worse than the one before. Also, it seems that I will no longer be a filthy rich record producer… I mean job creating record producer. I have been downgraded to being as lowly, pathetic and broke as the idiots who play the instruments and wail into the microphone. The horror…

Stay tuned for more news about our band's impending doom, I mean this story. Episode 2 of the MFUJSF will be up sometime in the next week. We think. Hopefully we can release it before we get downgraded to MFU- or, Zeus forbid, MF+. Perhaps I can moonlight as an elevator mechanic to make up for my newly empty pockets. I never knew that it was such a profitable line of work. Do not worry. We will be back, better than ever. Don't know how, don't know when, but you can count on it. At least I will. Who cares about the musicians?

Sincerely,

G Mod    

MFUJ Manager

P.S. This, this is our new song, just like the last one, a total waste of time.

P.P.S. Not really. Enjoy the song, fools.