Angry protestors Occupy the vacant lawn outside MFUJ’s main (and only) office, forcing the band to lock the building down, flee and take refuge in the mountains. G Mod: “Hey, what’s that over there? 99 red balloons?”*Exit, pursued by a bear*

Yes, the countrywide Occupy protesters have turned their sights on your beloved band, MFUJ. Well, they were really after G Mod since he’s part of the dreaded 1%. We’ll get to them eventually. Let’s start with the events that led up to this…this…ugh… Cluster****?  Yeah, I guess.

Obviously the band was dealing with the fallout from the completion of the second Webisode. With no acting segment keeping him busy, Brick focused all his energy on producing a solo project, the Falcons. He began with the song 99

Did you hear the difference between this and MFUJ? Neither did we.

Ah, the rest of the fallout from the video:

- Slate was suspended following his mind fart of an appearance in the recent video. No one knows what the bearded one would do with all his free time. We have one guess: Turducken. The devil’s poultry.

-Tigerman, after finally being given some airtime was promised to have an instrumental segment to bridge the show’s opening and closing acts. He started sharpening his claws and practicing his bass scales only to realize he didn’t actually know nay scales and that he actually just grabbed a sea bass and began clawing away at it. His fur smelled for days.

-Shadow, who has been almost completely ignored has been given the go ahead for the first act of the episode. What can we expect? How about him drumming on a plastic kit, some bad haikus and plenty of guilty monologues about deceiving Brick? Plus cameos from other MFUJ members. Fun stuff, really.

 So as G Mod was trying to plan the third episode, he heard some angry shouts coming from outside the window. He looked outside and saw a large group of protesters occupying his front lawn declaring that G Mod was the enemy  along with the rest of the 1%.

Flustered and confused, G Mod shouted “What’s wrong with being #1?”

They replied by telling him that he and his ‘kind’ controlled the majority of the wealth in the country.

“But,” he replied, “I don’t actually have any money. The band hasn’t exactly made any profit and thanks to some unwise investments on my part, like buying swampland and betting that music would get better this decade, we’re actually in the bottom 1%.”

The protestors would hear none of it and began drumming incessantly outside of his window. He quickly called an emergency meeting of the band in a voice so shrill that it forced every single member to show up just to get him to stop yelling.

“Men! We have been surrounded by an angry mob.”

“What are they angry about?”asked Tigerman as he finished his gazelle burger.

“They think we’re 1%ers.” G Mod said with a downward inflection.

“Say what now?” Brick asked in disbelief.

Shadow followed up with “Did youexpalin to them how poorly our fifth album has done?”

“Yeah, gorilla brain, I did. But they would have none of it. They’re out for blood. Or they just want to get high and camp. I can’t keep track of what these protesters are like.”

“What do we do?” asked Slate.

 “We retreat.” Gmod said as he began gathering his essential belongings together. “I have a safe house in the mountains that’ll keep us…safe.”

“Do we have to?” Brick whined.

“Well, if ya want to take your chances with the 99% you seem to love so much… Be my guest.”

With all discussion coming to a halt, the band members gather their most precious possessions and follow G Mod’s lead. Only Shadow remained behind to watch hold the fort. The other band members emerged out of the building and came face to face with the protesters. Among them was an irate bear in a Che Guevarra T-Shirt offering absolution to all who could offer him a few minutes of paradise.

In a moment of stupendous desperation, G Mod shouted: “Hey, what’s that over there? 99 red balloons?” and surprisingly it worked, giving the band time to run to the old SUV as the angered bear pursued them.

Stay tuned...

MFUJ made the impossible possible: The second MFUJSF Webisode is ready for your viewing pleasure. Bet you didn’t think we’d actually do it, did you? Well we did. So there. Oh and Scary is on his way…

Breaking news from MFUJ’s manager, G Mod:

“The second webisode has finally been filmed, edited and uploaded on the tube for you. Go and watch. Now, you fools! Before it’s too late!”

Reactions from the other band members:

Tigerman was elated at finally getting a speaking role in a MFUJ production since he missed out on the original 2007 web series that starred Brick, Slate, Shadow and G Mod. “This Webisode is fantastic, but as not as fantastic and lovely as you, dear lady that is reading this blog entry. Are you single?”

Shadow was not available for comments since, like in the first webisode, he was not featured in the video. G Mod has confirmed however that Shadow will be featured prominently as will Brick, whether they want to or not.

Brick was very casual about the release of the video. He was more excited about the remastered release of MFUJ’s 2008 concert Live at Gamespot Studio:

“Although some individual tracks were released as individual videos, I’m glad that the whole setlist has finally been compiled and released as a unit. Had we known about our newfound ability of posting clips over 15 minutes long, we would have done a single video. Oh well. A trilogy works fine. Oh, and we’re glad to finally release Intergeddon in its entirety, as it was meant to be heard. We might do a remastered version with instrumentals added to the tracks besides the three that were already songs. I’m busy, busy, busy. Oh and look out for a new song soon now that the second webisode is done.”

Slate was the only one who was unenthusiastic about the new webisode’s release.. “Damn cat got all of my airtime. Now I hear that I won’t even get a part in the next webisode. What the ****?”

 The following is rated TV-MA, the way all real shows should be. **** all that non adult content **** that they try to shove down your ****ing throat. Content moderated by the unimaginative censors who take out their own unhappiness by restricting the fun for the rest of us.

Enjoyed the episode? Of course you did…unless you didn’t. And now let’s end with a ba great band playing an ironically appropriate song at the beginning of their career. I give you Alice in Chains.

Brick (to the other members of MFUJ): “If you’ve got webisode problems, I feel bad for you son. I’ve got 99 problems but a blog ain’t one… HIT ME!” The other members of MFUJ: could we play something Alternative/metal/classic rocky? Maybe by someone named after a city? Brick: Fine. I understand about indecision but all I want is to have my Peace of Mind…

And so the 50^th blog entry came and went and there was no second MFUJ webisode to be found. Oh noes! Oh noes indeed. The MFUJ offices were full of tension and dismay as Brick, the band’s leader, had cut his hair, released a solo cover medley and just totally began making up for time lost on self-pity and pining away for a love he could never find.

The floor plan to the office began to resemble a map of warring states. The main office area was held by the faction of G Mod, the sinister though sometimes obtuse manager of MFUJ, and Slate, the libidinous front man and occasional singer (when he wasn’t busy showing off his package to unsuspecting members of the fairer sex http://mfujsansfrontieres.blogspot.com/2011/06/slate-tweets-blurry-photos-of-his.html). The basement is home camp to Shadow, the intelligent but greedy drummer with a strong guilt trip that was just waiting to burst (http://mfujsansfrontieres.blogspot.com/2011/08/shadow-saw-description-for-rock-video.html). The kitchen was the domain of Tigerman, the band’s lovesick bassist with a childlike naiveté when it comes to love i.e. he believed that a woman could actual love a 6 foot tall tiger creature whose only skills in life were playing bass and writing love letters http://mfujsansfrontieres.blogspot.com/2011/08/shadow-saw-description-for-rock-video.html).  The upstairs suite was where Brick spent most of his days.

It was there, behind closed doors, that he was not only working on his guitar chops by finally learning some damn scales but also working on actual music. He had unearthed a lost treasure(?) recorded way back in 2008 during the sessions for the original MFUJ album based on lyrics that Slate had scribbled into a notebook during his long exile: Choking on Insanity (G Mod Says to listen to this song now! http://www.reverbnation.com/play_now/song_10661993 ) He was also working on a brand new song called “We are the 99!” which might possibly have been the single for his solo album if he could somehow escape the shackles of the MFUJ machine.

While Brick was busy with old punk songs and mixed metaphors, G Mod was busy plotting the band’s second webisode with Slate downstairs.

“We’ll start off with the G Mod credit sequence” the repulsive megalomaniac began.

“What about starting with a skit?” asked the tattooed singer, “You know, like last time?”  http://mfujsansfrontieres.blogspot.com/2011/08/boys-are-back-in-towner-on-screen-debut.html

“And put up with your limitations as an actor? No thanks, dragon boy.”

“I don’t think it was that bad…”

“Really?”, replied the wry manager as he lowered his sunglasses.

“It was all Brick’s fault. He kept pining after…”

“No. Don’t say her name.”

“Why? It’s not like she’ll even read this.”

“It’s for legal reasons.”

“But he showed her name on his iPod during the episode. The song is named after her.”

“Enough. I don’t want any discussion of broads on my time, understand?”

“Broads? Sheesh. And Brick thinks my lingo is outdated. That was some gnarly anachronism there, chief.”

“Now after the opening credits and my little speech, I think we’ll have the tiger do some little skit to build on his ‘to my first wife’ series.”

“What?! That furball gets a segment and I don’t?”

“You blew it, kid. The cat gets his turn this time.”

“Whatever…” replies the deflated Slate.

G Mod makes a few notes on his yellow notepad:

-Open episode with the lovesick pussycat.

- Don’t let Slate hog the camera…again.

-Find the phone number for that sexy waitress from that diner I was at last night. What was her name? Trixie? Daisy? Bessie? Why am I listing cow names? Was that a diner or did I pass out in a barn again? Gotta take it easy. This job is killing me.

-Get more milk.

While Slate was being ignored, Shadow was pacing around the basement ,a drumstick in each hand. After doing twenty laps around the rugged old rug, the contemplative drummer stood in the center of the room, facing the wall of mirrors that the band used for low budget music videos.

“I’m standing in a room filled with nothing but the reverberations of my voice. No one but me can hear the sound as it bounces off the walls and back at me. If no one else hears the noise, does that mean there isn’t any? And if there isn’t any, does that mean that I am an illusion, even to myself?”

On a slightly less existential note, Tigerman made himself a pizza using a loaf of garlic bread, some spaghetti sauce and some havarti cheese from the fridge. Yes, it’s good to have the kitchen all to yourself if you’re a 6 foot tall tiger creature-thingy.

Stay tuned for more meandering updates leading up to the big season finale… we hope.

Take it away, Boston. Please…

Oh no he didn’t! Did the MFUJ guitarist steal his own band’s thunder by releasing a cover medley before the debut of the second MFUJ webisode? I guess it's 'Occupy MFUJSF' day or something. Did we just say ‘oh no he didn’t'? Our sincerest apologies. How about a little Faith no More? We good? I mean ‘are we good'?

If you have been paying attention to this blog, you’ll know that we originally planned for this blog entry to be the official MFUJ Webisode #2 screening party extravaganza. We had balloons ordered, a caterer hired and we rented out a big screen and projector to show the webisode to the whole unsuspecting community surrounding the MFUJSF office building. However there was one thing we did not count on: Lead guitarist and MFUJ founding member, Brick, upstaging his own band’s big MFUJSF 49^th blog entry which was supposed to lead up to the big 50^th entry season (series?) finale.

MFUJ tyrant, err… manager, G Mod was shocked at “Brick’s callous and selfish actions to steal away attention from the mirth and profitability of a group webisode.”

The offending clip was posted on the band’s youtube page:

After a rough start covering the Doors and Tom Waits, he totally rips through classics by the Misfits (We Are 138) and Nirvana (Aneurysm).

Some might be wondering why Brick might be doing stuff that would compromise the well being and profit making potential of his own band? For those who have never read our blog before…Hello South America! …Let’s give you a brief chart of Brick’s character arc.

Phase 1) Snarky rebellious teenager

Phase 2) Bleeding heart pacifist

Phase 3) Starving artist

Phase 4) Sellout douchebag

Phase 5) Depressed, hollow husk of a man

Phase 6) Depressed blog protagonist

Phase 7) Rejuvenated badass

Phase 8) TBD

 Well, this certainly means there will be a lot of tension built up for our big season finale in our next entry. Stay tuned for the other band members' reactions to the New Brick, whether it’s true that he’s working on a solo album and what that could mean for the future of the semi-fictional band.

We leave you with Faith No More.

And now here is a brief summary of the events that lead up to the second MFUJSF webisode. Next entry will be the webisode (so if we’re mysteriously MIA, then you know we’re working on that video) and entry 50 will be the big anniversary post/season finale. Yes. It’ll be the last entry for a long time (applause break for My Enemy).

Last time we saw our protagonist, Brick, he had just broken out of his depressing downward spiral and was ready to get back to business, the business of rock! (Too corny? Whatever…) There would be no more holding his tongue every time MFUJ’s manager, G Mod, made ridiculous plans to make money off of the band’s infamy, like releasing a series of fragrances based on the personalities and odors of each individual member of the band. Yes, it seems that all it took for Brick to regain the spark and enthusiasm he had back in his early days (We are referencing the original Brickman series which is now only available on out of print region 4 DVDs) was to cut his ridiculously long and remarkably fast growing hair (kind of like what Metallica did in the 90’s except this has had the opposite effect). But enough about Brick’s past.

Tensions in the band have been swirling around. Slate is obviously G Mod’s favorite sycophant so he has obviously been receiving the most attention and perks from the burnt out 80’s rock singer turned megalomaniac record producer. Tigerman, who just completed the fourth of his five scheduled “To My First Wife” love letters, was instantly ridiculed by the band’s lead singer for spending all his time fantasizing about monogamy and not enough time exploring the “beautiful world of hedonistic debauchery”. Shadow, after having his book deal revoked, has been in an incredibly irate mood. Further complicating his mood is anxiety over Brick’s recent transformation back into a confrontational, edgy guitarist with little to no natural talent of any kind. If the moody, falcon bandana wearing musician were to irritate the upper management, G Mod would be compelled to reveal that Shadow had been acting as his right hand this whole time. Who knows how Brick would react to this betrayal?

Have we spun everything into some sort ofconvoluted soap opera for the interwebs? Perhaps. But we’ve given you other genres as well. Comedy, drama, horror, rambling prose (yes, it is a genre. It is most commonly found in novels about accountants and lion tamers that exceed 500 pages in length. We kid you not. Ever read “Out of the Lion’s Mouth and Into Debt?” 600 pages of pure, FDA approved BS).

The band is on its way to the recording studio to film the second webisode as well as record their third and final (?) cover medley. No one is speaking to anyone else. You can cut the tension with a chainsaw and still break it halfway through the cutting part.

That’s about all we care to sum up for this entry. If you, my enemy, did not enjoy it, well then why the hell did you even read it? Don’t you just hate it when someone has so much free time on their hands that they will go out of their way just to badmouth something they don’t like? I wish there was a word for people like you. Trolls? Yeah. Go live under a bridge you troll! Ha! Play the music, we’re outta here!

To My Future First Wife Part 4: Yes, They’ve finally let me write another one of these blog entry thingies. I guess no one else wanted to write the first new entry after the serious one. Let me just tell you one thing, woman. People will tell you that I’m lying to you about us getting married one day. Don’t believe a word…

And now resident romantic, Tigerman, addresses his bride-to-be, whoever she might be.

Dear Little Ms. Skeptic A.K.A. Future Mrs. Tigerman,

Yes. I know. It’s been a while.

You think I don’t realize that the last time I wrote one of these public love letters to you was three months ago? I do. I may be a Bass player but I’m not an idiot. I don’t care what Slate might say, I’m not.

You may be wondering why it has taken so long for me to write to you. Well, it’s because the barbarians that run this band, G Mod and the abhorrent non-singer Slate, figured that the best thing for this band’s blog was to focus on some melodramatic plot line that mirrors both the economic crisis as well as every single post-Hamlet hackneyed revenge drama ever written. As far as I know, they will continue in this direction whether I’d like them to or not. It is of no consequence.

My dear sweet lady whose name and face I may or may not have burnt into my psyche already… how could you ever doubt that I love you, even for a millisecond? I mean seriously. I have spent three entire blog entries confessing how much I love/will love you and you still have doubts in that beautiful heart of yours that resides in that presumably lovely bosom of yours.

What? Some have claimed that my feelings for you are falsehoods that were manufactured simply just to lure you into my Tiger’s den? Blasphemers! How could you believe such idle gossip so easily after all my professions of potential love? I am besides myself with grief.

Who was the originator of these false words of falseness? Slate? That cur... That venomous serpent has poisoned you against me with his lies and…and…his lies and deception. This is an outrage of egregious proportions. Here I wanted to write a letter that praised your brilliantly blue/green/brown/black/ (insert eye color here) and your famously wavy/curly/straight/shaved hair. But now all of that is ruined because of the villainous slander that Slate has committed by turning you against me, the one and only love of your life. You know that you are the only one for me…until I meet my future second wife.

I’m sorry. I cannot continue to write when that dragon tattooed wannabe singer roams the halls laughing at me. I will…talk to him. Yes, that’s what I’ll do.

Sorry that I couldn’t be more romantic.

Sincerely,

Your first husband

Tigerman

Tigerman is a self-taught bass player as well as a six foot tall anthropomorphic tiger creature. He spends all of the time he isn’t playing music talking about his future wives. We’re not even sure why he even bothers doing this segment anymore, besides the fact that he signed up to do five of these entries. It’d be funny if it weren’t so ****ing tragic. Here’s some great music to get you through the night.

Rest assured, faithful MFUJ fans: The band is making music once more. MFUJ’s enemies: Tough luck. We plan on going where eagles dare. Or falcons. Whatevs.

 We’ll make this short and sweet.

-          MFUJ will be releasing another Webisode soon.

-          MFUJ is currently working on a cover medley featuring songs by the Doors, The Misfits, The Smiths and Nirvana.

That’s it.

Good night, y’all!