Packagegate Scandal: Slate tweets blurry photos of his package to female fans; news organizations seem unimpressed by cardboard, barcodes and Amazon.com label

The following is a letter from MFUJ Manager, G Mod.

Dear Bleeding Heart Media, MFUJ fans and random blog reading junkies,

As you all know, the lead vocalist for Mike’s F’d Up Journey, Slate Man, has been caught up in a controversy recently due to some risky behavior on social media sites such as facebook and twitter. It has been confirmed that as early as January of this year, Slate has exchanged hundreds of messages with female fans of the band (instead of going to band rehearsals), who contacted him through the band’s twitter account wanting to talk to him about music and entrepreneurship. On occasion the conversations have gone on to take more shall-we-say lascivious directions. At this point certain photos would be sent out by Slate along with remarks containing various double and even triple entendres involving packages, boxes and bubble wrap.

Photos such as this one are an embarrassment to Slate who has always been a valued and respected member of the band. Some have commented on the impressive size and heft of the package based on the pictures while other, more cynical critics merely scoff and say they’ve seen bigger. This controversy diminishes the impact of his impressive contributions to the community, like helping to construct a new neighborhood center using only popsicle sticks and rubber bands. Many have called for his immediate dismissal from the band. While we cannot currently say whether or not that is a possibility, we would like to say that Slate has apologized profusely for sending images of his package and admits that it was "a stupid and arrogant thing for a respected member of the community to do" as well as "a totally douchey thing to do in general".

Mike’s F’d Up Journey has and will always remain a family oriented organization whose mission is to pair inane/melodramatic lyrics with amateurish musicianship. That is what our fans have come to expect from the band and it is what we would like to be known for. This event is unfortunate for all those involved. All the immature talk about packages on network news and talk shows has been shameful enough and we’d like to move past this as soon as possible.

Again we do not know if we will be replacing Slate with Bon Scott’s zombie but we shall see in the coming weeks whether that will be necessary or not.

Thank you for your attention and please keep listening to the band and stop picturing Slate’s package.

Sincerely,

G Mod

MFUJ Manager